I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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