Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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