That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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