just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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