she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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