I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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