I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
