I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
