you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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