my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
