There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
