i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
