I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
