I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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