Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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