you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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