felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
