I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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