Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
