I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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