I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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