Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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