There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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