i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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