he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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