i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
