New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
