I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize