you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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