You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
