I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize