I love black thongs
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i drank out of a bidet.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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