Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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