so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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