worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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