Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
