I wish I could punch you in the face.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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