More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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