he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
