Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
