I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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