umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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