I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize