Do vagina's smell?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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