WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
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