either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
