I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
