not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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