6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
