let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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