If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
