my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
