Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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