Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
