so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
